My Thoughts on Holidays and My Depression

Here it is, about a week before Christmas now and I’ll be honest, I’m starting to feel more like the Grinch than the joyous person everyone says I should be. But just because it’s a holiday doesn’t mean that all of the problems in my life just goes away. I wish I could ask Santa for that, but I think I’d be sadly disappointed on Christmas morning. But even though I miss the life that I had, I still think there is some good in all of it and I’ve been trying to get into the Christmas spirit and so I thought I’d share a few things that I’ve done to help with that.

It’s been three years since I suffered the great tragedy that basically destroyed everything I knew or loved. I was fortunate enough to have family that I hadn’t known for a long time come to my rescue or I probably would have been homeless. Now my father was one of the most caring people when it came to those less fortunate. Many saw him as gruff and stubborn, but deep down he had a heart of gold and cared deeply about being able to cheer people up. One year, he ran an entire Christmas dinner out in our yard for all the homeless people who wanted to attend. He did all the cooking and organizing, along with my mom and myself, and was thrilled that he could do so.

I don’t have the means to do that, so I did the next best thing. I took some time to volunteer at the homeless shelter and doing so made me feel much closer to my parents, who’d both passed away within months of eachother. And as I helped out, a man who had been there for some time reached out to me and said “Bless you for being here and caring about us! Few do!” And I did, because I could have been there, something I wouldn’t want anyone to go through. But if I could at least make their day a little brighter, like Mom and Dad did, I’d feel it too and I did. I actually left there each day inspired by their strength and their attitude. That even in the hardest moments, many still felt the spirit of the holiday.


But as anyone with depression knows, it comes and goes and what quickly turns from a moment of perhaps a bit of joy, can often spiral quickly down into depression again. And so my advice when it does is to listen to Christmas music. Yeah, some songs are corny and others are beautiful, but hearing music anytime is beneficial if you are depressed. Studies have shown that. So why not listen to the tunes of the season to get you into a better mood? One hilarious set of albums I’d recommend is Bob River’s Twisted Christmas if you can find it. It’s really funny and even though it makes fun of the holiday classics, it actually cheers me up and gets me out of my doldrums to function that day.

They say shopping is cheaper than therapy and I’m not advising anyone to swap one for the other, but the point is that when you are trying to figure out what someone else might want, you kind of get your mind off of your own thing, and that makes you feel better. Even if you don’t have someone to buy for, perhaps go with a friend and help them decide what they are getting others. I went with my sister while she picked out some cool stuff and I really enjoyed being part of the action, even if I wasn’t yet ready to start my own shopping, which I did online. Oh, and it’s great to do your shopping online and get it out of the way, but it’s not near as fun or therapeutic as actually going to the store and looking at the stuff right there. So I would suggest perhaps looking in the real world and buying in cyberspace. The point is that getting out of the house is a good thing. Anytime you can, it will help you to lose some of the baggage that you may have hanging around your neck.


Of course everyone’s idea of how to get through the holidays is different. I know it’s hard when you have severe depression to even enjoy little things or get out of bed in the morning. But that is the time, in my opinion, to find something new to involve yourself in. Most of the things that I did that I don’t enjoy anymore is because there are too many bad memories that are now associated with those things. But I’ve found some new things that I enjoy now that I would have never thought of before. And I think anyone can do the same thing. Getting your brain off of your troubles, which tends to be a difficult process when depressed, and finding time to catch your breath will help you deal with the problems that you have. At least it works for me sometimes.

But all this is just my humble advice for the holiday season. What is it that you do to get through it? Perhaps if we all share stories, we can inspire others (and ourselves) to find new ways to enjoy the holiday or at least tolerate it and look toward the future with more than just pain and dread. After all, it’s almost a new year and a certainly a new tomorrow…